I’ve been out of touch.

I’ve been really bad at keeping up with the blog, which was the excuse to not have time to write individual emails out to people. Lots to say, not sure where to start! Maybe the big news of the week.

Boston was bombed this week. My first reaction was shock, then total panic, emotional breakdown, and then numbness. Were my friends who were marathon runners participating this year again? Were the others out there celebrating as usual since it’s a public holiday? If they are all okay, are THEIR friends and family okay? Is it over? Are they scared? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? Why am i so far away? Why don’t I know anything? How do I even start to find out ANYTHING?

I called Sam. Since she had all of the same friends and worked the same job as me, I knew she would know as much as possible about anyone I also knew. Thank god she answered. Herself and the other girls on the West Coast were suffering the same problem – cell phones were out of service, the news is making you nauseous, and Facebook check-ins are the only reliable source to follow. ASSUME EVERYONE IS OKAY UNTIL YOU HEAR OTHERWISE.

Hours of scrolling through the newsfeed, getting in touch with others, sending messages on Facebook and emails, and I had some more peace of mind. But the images on the news didn’t go away. The realization of how horrific it was, how unbelievable it was to think that THAT COULD HAVE BEEN US. Is that a normal reaction? The realization that anything can happen at any time set in. I am aware that this is the feeling that others around the world feel or have felt and suffered before, but knowing and FEELING is completely different. The ‘what ifs’ are endless.

It’s an uneasy feeling being away and still having that connection to Boston. I spent 5 years there, and I do love the city, and the people I met, and everything I learned and gained and experienced in my time there. People tease about American patriotism but there really is a sense of pride with Boston, I felt like I was a part of something there – a growing, exciting, enthusiastic and dynamic community. I have nothing bad to say about Boston – I left when it was time to go, but it’s a place I’ll always consider to be home too.

The media and Facebook are in a frenzy with what this means, why it happened, what we should learn… so I don’t need to go into that. Apart from the bigger picture, for me it’s rather simple:

I’m glad you’re safe.

I’m so sorry this had to happen.

I hope we are stronger and wiser as a result.

I miss you.

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